Consequences of Single Parenting

Consequences of Single Parenting

There are a lot of consequences in being a single parent. It is not as easy as everyone imagines. There are so many issues surrounding a single parent. Some are good, but some are extremely bad. In everything that you do, there are consequences. And because being a single parent is an abnormality, society keeps a watchful eye on everything that you do.

You always have to watch your actions so that it will not have a deterrent effect on your children. You also have to have an open communication with your children so that you will always have knowledge on what is roaming inside their mind.

Since being a single parent is vulnerable to gossips, we must always be knowledgeable of what is happening around us so that it would not affect our children. The biggest consequence of being a single parent is probably its effect on the child’s reputation and emotions.

In a weak foundation, the child with a single parent might notice his or her difference with other kids. If not properly talked about, he or she might start thinking that he or she is different and it may be a reason for him or her to be disturbed. As a parent, you must always remind your child that he or she is not different from others. He or she is still a normal kid, just like everybody else.

The bulk of the responsibility is thrown mostly to the parent. And honestly, it is really the parent’s responsibility especially during the early ages of your son and daughter. You should always remind your child about his or her status and that it should not affect him or her as a person. 

As a parent, you must really be hands-on with how you take care of your children. It is a must that your presence is always felt. That you are always there to guide your kid. It is important and a must that you efficiently perform your duties and responsibilities as a parent.

Single parents must be really close to his or her child. If you concentrate more on work and leave no time for your kids, there might be a gap on your relationship and you and your kid will not be that close. 

You should also show your love to your kids for they lack affection. Since you are a single parent, you should give much more love as you are filling in the shoes of both a mom and a dad.

But that is not as easy as it sounds, because you are the only one that makes it work for you and your family. Of course, you cannot do it all by yourself. Single parents are not super heroes but they are close to it.

Time is the biggest enemy of a single parent. And because of that, the biggest consequence of it is having no time to spend with your kids. As a result, you may not be close to him. Another one is because of the lack of a parent figure inside the house when you are not around, the kids might lack the value that parents teach.

Also, because of your absence, the children might not respect your authority as their parent. And at times, because of work, you might be not around during special occasions, like the kid’s birthday, PTA meetings, the child’s recital and other kid of events that require the presence of a parent. Since you are the only working with no support, you might not be able to attend to these and may cause trouble.

A kid requires a lot of work, and if you cannot attend to your child’s needs then he or she might look out for someone else. Your child might be prone to drugs and other bad deeds because of the lack of presence and attention inside the house. The child might even forget that he or she still has a parent.

You must remember it is not how long you spend your time with your kids; it is how you spend quality time with your kids. Even if you are tired from work, you must always let them feel your love. You may not always be physically present but what is important is that we instill in the values and discipline so that they would be able to face the world with the parent on the child’s mind.

The most important thing is that they would understand the situation and respect you for what you are and not who you are not.

Check out my other guide on Single Parenting and Black Males.
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Children Of Single Parents And Crime Rates

Children Of Single Parents And Crime Rates

Single Parents and The Rise of Crime Rates Among Children

The hardest thing to face as a single parent are the intense emotions associated with being both a mother and a father to a child. This is further magnified when the other parent is absent or is deliberately not doing anything to fulfill his part in the caring for the children. More often than not, the single parent's psychological well being bogs down.

Single parents might try to cope with this strain by either trying to compensate by adopting both mom and dad roles, or by scouring the social scene for a partner to help him or her in the rearing of the child. The pressure is definitely high.

However, if truth be told, none of the above will help. If anything, they might even cause you to become more stressed. And when you end up being more stressed than ever, chances are this will reflect and magnify on your child.

If you are a single parent, ask yourself. How does your behavior and general outlook toward life affect your kid? Upon closer scrutiny, you might just find out that your child's constant tantrums and bouts of unexplained anger might just be the result of your continuing negativity. It is for these reasons that you should be careful.

Several studies show that children coming from single-parent households are more susceptible to destructive or rebellious behavior, not just because society imposes the need for a two-parent structure, but also, more often than not, the custodial parent is either too guilty that he or she smothers his child, or too busy to make ends meet to show how much he or she cares.

According to one study, about 90% of the change in crime rates between 1973 and 1995 had been accounted for by children born into single-family setups and those that had been born outside of marriage.

While this is not entirely true for all cases of that cover single parent households, we cannot discount the fact that majority of reports conducted in lieu of single parenthood and crime rates show that they are, indeed, linked.

Children born into two-parent, or 'intact' homes, are also susceptible to committing crime, so it would be impulsive to generalize that all kids under one-parent households are likely to become criminals.

Sure, two-parent settings place some sort of balance to a child's psychological well-being. However, it should also not be discounted that kids who grew up under an unhappy but intact home are also prone to some form of destructive behavior.

If you are a single parent, the best thing you can do to prevent this from happening is to be there for your child. You don't really need to be available 24-7 and spend so much just to show him or her that you care. The mere fact that you make it clear, in the occasions that you can, that your child's well-being is your utmost priority is enough.

Never forget to tell your child that you love him or her. Do away with discussing the negative, especially if it's against the other parent, no matter how distressed you are with him or her.

If you are having trouble reaching out to your kid, particularly if you're realizing this need just now and your child is already a teen, seek counselling. Or have a one on one talk with your child so that both of you will understand each others feelings openly. Honesty is key in a single parent setting. If both parent and child are honest about what they think and feel, the less likely a rebellion would occur.

While you do feel somehow guilty for being a single parent (you may sometimes even think it's your fault that your kid is exhibiting rebellious behavior), you should immediately try to take it out of your system. Guilt will only magnify the ill effects on your child and might even push him or her further into ill behavior.

Simply put, a positive attitude will do wonders. A happy household, whether in a two-parent or single parent setting, is still a happy household. And this is all that is going to matter.

Check out my other guide on Single Parenting and Black Males.
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Challenges Of Single Parenting

Challenges Of Single Parenting

One of the hardest issues to survive in, as a single parent, is an overwhelming emotion that you should complete the role of both mother and father. This feeling evolves and will be more intense if the other single parent is not portraying a role that is active with the children. 

You would probably fight this feeling often in two ways. Either you try to compensate by being both the mom or dad or you get on one of those wild life hunting explorations to search for a partner to fill in the other role. May I tell you a piece of advice? Neither one of these options will work. It is easier to say it than to do it.

Single parents always bring this feeling of guilt for the reason that their children do not obtain the love and care they could be getting from another parent. So what are you supposed to do? It is a very difficult situation.

For example, you are a single father with three children. This gets even more complicated if two out of the three are girls and you will have to choose between being a mom or to hunt for the mom to be able to have a better orientation for your daughters.

You would most probably go on an exploration to fill the second. Not a year has passed and you would probably go back to being a single parent. 

As mentioned, this is never the answer. The lesson on that example is that you cannot replace the mom or the dad. Of course, this does not mean that it is impossible to find people who are ready to be a huge portion of both yours and your children’s life. What is really meant is that this should not be the reason of the relationship you from.

Instead of feeling that you need to replace your wife or your husband for your kids, why don’t you focus on what you need to provide or give to them? Being a single parent is not a reason for you to feel guilty. You should rather be proud that your sons and daughters have you.

This article is written to help you, single parents, realize that your children love you and if you are going to find another spouse or feel guilty, you are not going anywhere. Yo have to comprehend that single parents do not have to have a mate to make your kids glad.

If you are a single parent, then you are probably strongly thinking that you should fill both roles. This is empowered by the feeling of guilt for fitting our children in difficult positions. You have to get over this and recover as fast as you could.

You are only human; you are not a super hero. You cannot do everything by yourself and you should never feel that you are second best just because of this.

Your children do not all the time give a helping hand either. Children are not evil, crazy or anything of that kind, they are just being what they are, kids. It is what kids always do, and it turns out that it really works well for them. You need to adapt to working with your kids with your own provisions and not feel lower than appropriate for the reason that you cannot do something.

In total, you gain the respect of your kids if you follow what this article just said. No matter how much and how well you try, you surely cannot be both your children’s mom and dad. So take this as an advice, quit trying.

You do not need to be fit and lean to make your kids love and appreciate you. They love you just the way you are. You should even appreciate yourself first in order to make your children and others appreciate you. You should know that parenting exercise is different.

Hmmm… You are most probably thinking that being a single parent drains your energy and will not let you have time for yourself. Well, tell you what, it does not. It helps you become stronger and it makes you appreciate yourself because of what you do.

Check out my other guide on Single Parenting and Black Males.
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The Effects Of Single Parents And Black Males

The Effects Of Single Parents And Black Males

Single parents are everywhere. The US Census found that in 2002, three out of ten children in the United States were raised and are living in with single parents.

It is believed that the figure has further gone up nowadays. Today, it is estimated that single parents, or the number of single parents in the society, are far more, or have significantly grown over the years.

The assumption can be attributed to the growing perception that single parents are now enjoying the comfort and acceptance by the society that previously were not accorded or provided to them.

Black males are a significant demographic section where the number of cases of single parenthood is significantly and rapidly increasing.

Experts say black males being single parents at the same time pose greater challenge to the person. For one, racial or color discrimination, although the issue is not existing politically anymore, is still bugging a number of African Americans in the country.

Second challenge for the single parents who are black males is their gender. It is found that male single parenting are far lagging behind female single parenting. Although feminism is now on the run, and men and women have equal right, men still are not comfortable to assume domesticated roles in the society.

That is why a number of efforts are initiated by experts and psychologists. To reach the black male- single parents demographic, articles, books and expert advise on single parenting are provided and made accessible over the Internet.

Hence, there are a number of literature or articles that are accessible online and that are targeting the black male single parents around. Here are some of them:

‘Parent Trapped: Dating for Single Parents’. This article is authored by an unnamed single parent. He himself is very much involved in the issue, based on his status.

Thus, it takes one to really and effectively know one. The single parent reader, probably and purposely male black, can relate to the predicaments, joys and experiences of the author. This will be a great reading experience for them.

‘The Bad Rap Against Mothers’. The article is published in a well-know and main steam magazine years ago but is so beautifully written that the essence is far living its life span. The article is written by a single mom, who was abandoned by a black male lover or partner.

‘The Bad Rap Against Mothers, Part 2’ is the second installment or spin off of the first. The article aims to help readers by enumerating and analyzing the hardships and difficult situations single parenthood poses to single moms. In this article, the single mom-author imagines how it could have been if she had been the one to leave his black male ex-partner.

‘The Bad Rap Against Mothers, Part 2’ also aims to create the next generation of very ‘exceptional men’ who will grow up gracefully with manners and principles that will never ever aim to hit or disrespect women and other beings. The author believes single parents can do exactly that—raising good and well-founded men.

 ‘Come Back Home’ is excerpted from the very popular and best-selling ‘Chicken Soup for the Single Parent’s Soul: Stories of Hope, Healing and Humor’. The article incites that every single parent has his or her own different and personal story to tell.

However, the differences are bounded and should be unified by the thread of comfort and of hope that aims to give out peace of mind to everyone.

‘Get More Time with your Children and Manage Your Child Support’ is written basically and particularly for black males who are also single parents. The article can also apply and touch the hearts of white males who are also single parents.

Through the article, readers will have a sneak peek at the personal and actual expenses and money issues surrounding male single parents, both black and white.

‘Dreaming Through the Twilight’ is somehow mushy and cheesy as the title implies. However, the article, which is also published in a book---a collection of personal diary-style articles---is so profoundly written. The article targets principally the black male single parents who are difficultly dealing with their current single parenthood situations.

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